2008 has been one helluva year.
I spent the last 36 years of my life waiting for this amazing little boy to find me. I still don’t know how it happened, or why we were able to make a baby where there had always been a big empty space. It started with a little Christmas morning nookie, continued with a positive pregnancy test, and finished with a healthy, beautiful baby boy.
The first 3 months were so hard. SO HARD. I found myself hating him more than I loved him, because I didn’t understand. I didn’t realize that the good times were right around the corner, waiting patiently for us to work through the bad days and the sleepless nights and the endless hours of crying. But we made it through. And I’m more in love than I ever dreamed possible.
Every day, I can’t wait to get out of bed and hear his silly little giggles and look into those big, innocent, trusting eyes. I can’t wait to see what the day holds, even if it’s only a 2-hour nap nestled warmly in my shoulder. Those are my favorite times, the moments when he’s sleeping on my chest and I can hear his sighs of happiness and drink in his sweet, soft, baby smell.
In spite of my relentless complaining and whining (HEY! Colic is insufferable for all involved), I wish for everyone who wants a baby to have one. No matter what you have to do. No matter how much it costs. No matter if you have to steal an infant out of an unguarded car at Walmart. (Kidding about that one. Although the thought did cross my mind in my most desperate hours.) Just do it. Whatever it takes.
Because it’s worth every, single sacrifice you have to make. He’s worth it.
They’re all worth it.
Happy 2009, baby boy. I love you with all my heart.
