Let me preface this by saying that my sleep schedule is all out of whack. I go to bed between 10 – 11, wake up at 2 to pee, wake up at 5 to pee, and get up for good around 7. I end up nodding off sometime during the day, only to be jolted awake by the ringing telephone or barking dogs. My life is nothing but a series of 2 hour naps.
I’ve been having mad cravings for the last couple of days. In no particular order, I’ve wanted:
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Tootsie Rolls
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Cashew Chicken
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Gummy Hearts
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Oscar Meyer Bologna on ghetto white bread with yellow mustard
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Chicken Lo Mein
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Chips and Salsa
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Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls
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Nacho Cheese Doritos dunked in cottage cheese
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A David’s Deli bagel with whipped cream cheese & corned beef
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Diced Peaches
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Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
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Brownie Dough (not the actually brownie, mind you – just the batter)
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Strawberries
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Red seeded grapes
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Apple Juice
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Cool Whip
It all started late Sunday morning, when my lovely husband decided to fry up a pound of bacon. I hate bacon. I find the smell to be revolting, yet oddly mouth-watering at the same time.
Anyway, he sat down & ate his THREE bacon sandwiches while I warmed up my leftover beef stew. Out of nowhere, I got an extremely intense craving for a greasy, salty sausage link. I ignored it, and set about finishing my lunch.
Later in the afternoon, we headed over to my parents’ house for our annual Sunday chicken dinner. While waiting for the chicken to finish, I started flipping through the sale ads of the weekend paper. BIG mistake. I wanted everything that was on sale. EVERYTHING. If it was pictured, I could taste it. From Apple Jacks cereal to ziti pasta.
And the heartburn. Oh my God, the heartburn. Zantac can’t keep up to my burning belly these days.
And did I mention that the constipation portion of the program has also begun?
I’m extremely grateful and blessed to be pregnant, but I don’t feel pregnant yet. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I have a burning esophagus, and I can’t poop.
Is this really what pregnancy is all about?????
